If You Settle for a Deadbedroom or Duty Sex, You’re a Loser

Definition

Dead Bedroom is self-explanatory.

However, for those new to the manosphere, ‘duty-sex’ is quite simple. This is when the woman puts-out just enough to keep you around. And by keep you around, I mean you giving her comfort, validation, attention, and buying her things. The sex she does dish-out (starfish sex) is scarce, mediocre, unenthusiastic, and later followed by more demands.

My Duty-Sex Experience

On one occasion prior to swallowing the red pill, I had duty-sex. For no apparent reason, the girl went from accepting my advances with eagerness, to rejecting them because she was, “not in the mood” or “let’s just cuddle”. But this time, she reluctantly accepted. Throughout the process her movement was frigid and her kissing was lazy. Despite the lack of enthusiasm, I didn’t let this deter me. I continued the foreplay thinking a good ol’ dicking would solve the problem. Hint: it didn’t.

It was awful.

She had the Sahara Snatch, laying back like a starfish and looked uncomfortable like she just wanted it over with. It was so sad and felt so pathetic that I just ended it. Couldn’t finish even if I wanted to because it was a such a libido kill.

Never again.

I can’t believe men do that for years and actually finish the deed. If you go through with this on a regular basis, you’re a fucking loser.

No Sex = No Relationship

no_sex

Let’s be clear. The only thing that separates your girl from every other girl in your life is SEX. If you are not having sex, there is no ‘relationship’. A female that you cohabitate with, that isn’t blood related to you, and don’t have sex with is a ROOMMATE.  The word ,’girlfriend’, is just a euphemism for “girl that you fuck and spend intimate time with.” A wife is just a girlfriend with a contract with the state. So if you give your time, money, and energy to a girl you’re not having sex with, what does that make you? A chump. You’re being used and UOENO. Or you do and let it happen, in which case, you’re definitely a loser.

No Sex = No Attraction

Men take to give, and women give to take. Men take women’s bodies to give sperm, women give themselves to men to receive resources, commitment, and semen. When a woman loves you, she will attempt to give her greatest asset, her body. If a woman doesn’t offer herself to you, she isn’t attracted to you.

Why Men Accept It

“There are beta men out there who think that is what sex is, sadly.

That all there is to it is the woman spreading her legs and lying there motionless as he gets to insert his dick inside her dry vagina and thrust. That the fact that she did the bare minimum and spread her legs for him and allowed him to penetrate, means she wants him and is in love with him and has passion for him [and you should be grateful for such an opportunity].

‘Hey, I still had sex!’ they will say.

Yeah, eating off the Dollar Menu at Mcdonalds is still food in the technical sense, but that doesn’t mean it compares well with a steak dinner at a 5 star restaurant.” – /u/TheDonald2k16 (here)

’nuff said.

Why Women Do it

You began a pattern of unattractive behavior, which turned her off. Then you continued investing in her despite the fact you’re not receiving anything in return, even open disgust and mistreatment. You don’t have any self-respect. If you don’t respect yourself, she won’t respect you either.

She likes when you pay the rent/mortgage. She likes when you drive her around. She likes when you buy her gifts. She likes that you listen to her problems. But she isn’t attracted to you. She wants to retain your provisioning, commitment, and emotional comfort, but doesn’t want to give up the pussy. You don’t induce tingles, but you’re useful.

Sometimes she just wants to be able to say she isn’t single to her girlfriends.

What Not To Do

First off, let me tell what NOT to do. DO NOT ask for sex or complain about the lack of it. That will surely dry up every vagina in a 2 mile radius. Remember, you cannot negotiate desire. That includes the pathetic, “Chore Play”.

One more thing: The “Low Libido” excuse is bullshit. She doesn’t have ‘low libido’, it’s not that she has lost interest in sex altogether. She just doesn’t want to have sex with YOU. Same goes for guys. Put a young PYT with big tits in front of a ‘low libido’ man, boners come back. Put a ripped stud in front of a ‘low libido’ woman, her panties get wet again.

Solution 1

Q: So what can you do?

Most likely  the relationship isn’t salvageable, just end it. Clean break. Don’t wear a stupid toupee, just shave it off. Stop investing money in a company that will never see the dawn of profit and cut your losses. Don’t be a slave. I guarantee you that sex isn’t the only issue in your relationship. When a woman is no longer attracted to you, yet decides to stay, she acts out in other ways and is usually unpleasant. Ain’t nobody got time for that. A man’s most powerful tool is the ability to walk away. USE IT.

Relevant Reading: “Beta for 10 years –> awakens –> breaks habit and wrecks GF’s (+ her daughter’s) plans to continue using him”

Solution 2

Q: So you’re stubborn and won’t leave, but want some practical advice?

Alright, but you’re not going to like it. Part of the blue pill conditioning is that you should deflect blame to an outside source and place the solution in the hands of women and Daddy Government. But you’re here, now. You’ve decided to take the red pill. Now you can no longer point the finger to someone else by default, you must look within and perform some self-reflection and solve the problem alone. Ask yourself, “what have I been doing wrong that would be considered unattractive.”

  • Are you fat or getting fat? ==> Stop being fat, and start liftin’. No excuses.
  • Do you always complain about your problems? ==> Stop doing that. She cannot, and won’t be your rock. The tingles and sympathy are mutually exclusive (/u/RU_Crazy). She depends on you for emotional stability. Complaining shows you feel you have no power over your life and that makes her nervous. Lack of power = not sexy.
  • Are finances not in order? Lost your job? ==> Buddy, you got bigger problems than pussy. Fix that.

Are you getting the picture now? Or do I have to hold your smooth baby bitch hands that don’t lift?

Relevant Reading: “Married man from r/DeadBedrooms gets fed up. Applies every single RP principle by the book, without even knowing about RP. Results are as predictable as you’d expect.”

Conclusion

Gentleman, if you really want to know how it looks when you accept this deal of settling for duty-sex crumbs, watch this disturbing scene from the foreign B-movie, “Audition” (only 2 mins from the starting point, you can ditch the rest). I’ll let you draw the analogy yourself. Enjoy.

Sidenote: It doesn’t show in the clip, but in the movie, the captive man says “thank you” after eating.


Read More: By the Time You’ve Had ‘the talk’, She’s Already Packed and Planned Her Exit

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20 thoughts on “If You Settle for a Deadbedroom or Duty Sex, You’re a Loser

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  3. I’m a woman and I must say you are spot on!
    You perfectly describe my 12-year marriage to the biggest beta of them all but guess what, I realised that I’m becoming the kind of woman you described and I HATED it!
    I didn’t want to be that so I left. Everything you say is true, there’s no such thing as low libido. This was my excuse and I used it despite knowing that’s it’s not true. At the end, the price was just not worth it. Sexless life is no life.

    1. “I’m becoming the kind of woman you described and I HATED it!”

      You didn’t ‘become’ a different woman. All women are like that with stuck with beta males. It starts out with comfort, then the repulsion becomes stronger than the security, finally it festers into resentment.

      Stay away from the betas in the future and you should be fine.

      Trust me, I’m a doctor.

      1. But they are all beta 🙁
        By the way, where do you stand on the subject of testosterone? In my opinion that’s the real difference between alpha and beta. The alpha is just brimming with testosterone, it’s in his nature to lead. Can it really be taught? Is it not a case of you either have testosterone or you don’t?
        I’m lucky to have met a handful or real alphas in my life (mostly blood family) and you can smell it off them. They were born to be winners.

        1. Not all, but most, yes.

          Testosterone has been plummeting for years, a rumored covert reason being the infusion of estrogens in food, water, and their containers.

          However, there is a more pressing matter. Much of the ‘betaness’ you’re witnessing is not from lack on inherent manliness (i.e. testosterone), but autonomous self-suppression. The elite, media, and the state are manufacturing these guys en masse starting from elementary school. By the time boys start involving themselves in the dating game, they’ve been conditioned to suppress most masculine behavior. The natural inclination arises, but then a sudden feeling of guilt or shame overrides it. What these guys don’t realize is that this sudden feeling of guilt and shame isn’t natural, it was conditioned into them on purpose from an early age. No longer do these guys need to be monitored and punished, the condition is now autonomous and follows them everywhere they go.

          As a culture, people have been bombarded with anti-male propaganda their whole lives through the media and school system (read: the misandry bubble). It has now sunk into the subconscious of the population. You’ll notice that when people think of masculinity today, one of the first things that comes to their mind is violence, abusive, douchebag, etc…. always something negative. Part of that sudden feeling of shame and guilt in a man’s mind I spoke of previously is the result of this subconscious stereotype floating around in the man’s head. “I don’t want to be seen as violent, intimidating, abusive, or a douchebag” so he goes the complete opposite direction and chooses the beta path thinking it to be safer and win over women’s affections because women always want nice, supplicating, men who never cause tension, right? All the nice guys in the movies always win the pretty girl in the end. That’s how reality is, riiiiight?

          “Can it really be taught?”

          …Yes, but only to a point. The correct term would be to ‘foster’. And by that I mean, shape what is already present. There’s a ‘threshold’ by which ‘inner masculinity’ must be at before this is possible (this is the function of male role models and male spaces). I see this problem occur in the RedPillWomen subreddit a lot. Their SO is not leading, making decisions, being aggressive or putting her in her place like she likes it then asks the ladies how can she guide him to the right path and ‘be a man’. The answer is: impossible. Not only must he reach that threshold, he must be willing to change. The desire to ‘be a man’ must come from within. There is nothing you can do as a woman to help foster it. He either has it or he doesn’t. As a matter of fact, the best thing you can do for a beta is dump his ass. When you break his heart and his world falls apart, he has to reexamine himself, and in this moment, is susceptible to other ideas that will lead to change.

          This is actually the topic of one of my future posts. It will be directed specifically at the ladies. So look out for that one.

  4. Thank you for the long and interesting response.
    Interestingly, I’m 40 and I’ve been saying for years that testosterone is on the decline but I blamed it on the pill actually. I see very few manly men these day and I live in a country where conscription is still mandatory and all men go to the army from 18-21 so becoming a man is kind of enforced upon many of them.
    Still, too few men are into leading and taking charge and I’m not into cultivating anymore. I tried and failed for 12 years and I cannot do it again. You’re absolutely correct, no one can do the work for you. Change has to come from within, you need to want that.

    So what is a woman to do? Not many like the idea of ending up alone yet there are too few real, awake men to go around. I certainly don’t know that many who would qualify. Most of my friends need up with betas.
    Yet as you rightly pointed out, no woman can ever be happy in that type of relationship and resentment is inevitable…

    1. “I live in a country where conscription is still mandatory and all men go to the army from 18-21 so becoming a man is kind of enforced upon many of them”

      You would think that the since the military tries to carve men out of boys, this experience, this new manliness would simply carry over into his dating lift. Not true. You see, the blue pill is designed to compartmentalize thought such that you can’t bridge different areas of your life and create connections to see the bigger picture. The second they encounter a woman, they cease the display of these traits. These guys can’t see how these traits could possibly translate into attraction into women because they’ve been taught women don’t like that kind of man.

      I tried and failed for 12 years and I cannot do it again

      Lol, 12 years too much.

      A woman’s version of ‘cultivating’ is nagging and complaining. She intentionally or subconsciously throws shit at him in hope of evoking a masculine response that he has failed to display recently. This would work if his game was alright and just so happened to slip, but it just destroys most guys. Most guys just supplicate and then the woman gives him more shit, then he supplicates again totally bewildered by your sudden change of attitude, and so on and so forth. This cycle continues until the woman no longer finds him useful and has ‘the talk’ before she leaves his ass.

      I get into this more indepth on my podcast interview with MAGApod which is scheduled to be released on Monday.

      TL;DR (for this specific topic): Women hate telling men how to be men. You either got it or you don’t.

      “Interestingly, I’m 40 “

      So many men have let themselves go for years by this point. It’s fucking sad. They get fat cuz they eat like shit, they don’t get sleep, and don’t care for their appearance. They’ve reached an age where people almost never turn themselves around. The point of no return. I have no doubt you have trouble finding any desirable guys in this range.

      As a whole, the best thing women could ever do is when they’re approached by men looking for advice about how to get women, women should say

      “Hit the gym. You want girls, girls want guys with nice bodies” and other things of this nature instead of the bullshit

      “Just be yourself. You’re a nice guy, eventually women will come around and realize their mistakes, blah blah blah”

      But this must be done as whole gender. Men must grow up hearing this shit so that it internalizes (just ‘gets it’) and doesn’t need to come to a place like my site to understand the basics.

      Keep looking. You might have to swim through a blue pill sea of beta to do it, but those hunky manly-men guys exist. Hint: you’re talking to one 😉 .

      Good luck.

  5. Nagging and complaining certainly doesn’t work and let me also tell you, it makes you hate yourself. You let in bitterness and resentment that just sour everything til you either become a very unpleasant woman to be around or like me, you jump ship.
    I agree, men are in crisis. So are women. We all seem to be getting further and further from where we can and should be. I think the modern world is partly to blame. Everything is so convenient and ready, it takes away many of the ways for men to express manliness.
    This is why women love a man who can make shit, build shit, fix shit. Not someone, like my ex husband, who needed to be told what to do, say, think, eat, wear etc.
    There are still men like that out there, the strong and silent type, coincidently in my opinion to be found more in abundance with older men which is my personal preference. It’s not about the buff bod, it’s about charisma, presence, initiative, confidence. Attributes that ALL women find attractive but yet are so rare because it’s not encouraged much.
    I don’t know what the solution is. You rightly point out that women hate telling men to men up and that you either have it or you don’t. Like I said, I met a few real alphas in my life and all were born with it. My theory is that a real alpha cannot be suppressed no matter what. Rare and precious.
    I guess most women are destined to marry betas and become frustrated or stay single.

    1. “I think the modern world is partly to blame. Everything is so convenient and ready, it takes away many of the ways for men to express manliness.”

      Every positive trait you associate with masculinity is a product of necessity. For lack of a better phrase, “men aren’t born, they’re built.” Modern convenience has made it such that guys can get by without having done anything of value. They’re in their safe space bubble all through school, then come out of college and life hits them like a train. Mom and dad did everything for them. The schools didn’t teach them shit. And technology distracted them from reality and made it unnecessary to better themselves. I would know because that was me. It took me a long, long time to overcome two decades of conditioning and being coddled my entire life. The hardships that are necessary for a male to grow did not take place, then suddenly all at once. Quite a shock to the system. I thought it was the world being unfair or just constant badluck at first, then I realized it was just that I wasn’t prepared. That some of it was through no fault of my own was irrelevant. Adapt or die. It’s all g now, but I can only imagine what could have been if I hadn’t needed to make up for so much lost time.

      “I guess most women are destined to marry betas and become frustrated or stay single.”

      I was about to unleash a rant, but decided to cut it short. TLDR the human population is being intentionally and naturally being diluted with undesireables for both genders. Everyone’s rushing for an ever shrinking population of desireable mates, many being left behind in the dust. It can brutal out there. Both men and women are both feeling it, though they may not realize it.

      One of the biggest factors is routine, especially with people living in the suburbs. We get so used to doing the same shit at the same time because it’s comfortable. We go to work with the same colleagues, run errands at the same stores at the same time, go home around the same neighbors. Then on the weekend we go to the same places at the same times with the same people. Same shit, different day. If you alter that routine an hour earlier or later, or change the location just once, it’s amazing how the vibe changes and the different people you’re exposed to.

      Meetup.com is a great start (not a dating site). It’s got the airbnb professional feel to it. There’s an interest with a host for that event, anybody is welcome (tons of options). Meetup, do the activity, and socialize only if you want, leave when you want. Pretty straight forward, but exposes you to others outside the usual monotonous routine. Who knows, maybe you’ll find your manly man there.

  6. Shortly after the breakudown of my marriage I actually met and fallen madly in love with a man so alpha, he makes my knee tremble every time I see him. I knew from the moment I met him all I needed to know just because of the broad shoulders, the deep voice, the upright posture. Young men really should be taught body language. And be given testosterone pills because wher you see fat people, I see skinny, narrow shouldered feminine guys with high pitch voices.
    Alas though, he has been married to his chore play (great term by the way) wife for almost 30 years and will not entertain the notion of leaving. I knew that from the start so I guess that does support on some respect the theory that women would rather timeshare in an alpha than the whole beta…

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    1. Not appropriate in this case. She’s a nice girl and has been conducting reasonable discourse throughout. Until that changes, leave her alone.

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